You're not a sweet potato......... Oh yes I yam!

"With his head carved out of....POTATO"

Name: Nuck Lee
Construction: Kerrs pink potato
Most likely to say: "Give me some skin"

Put the money in the bag, slag.

Names: Walter the Owl and Mungo

Construction: Walter - Water Melon, partial carrot and olive x2

Mungo -Galia, carrot, olive x2 , orange, part aubergine and apple

Most likely to say: Walter "Put the money in the bag and no-on gets hurt" Mungo "You slag"

Polygonum Multiflorum oriental phallic veg

This unusual herb is better known as Chinese Knotweed, and is said to rejuvenate the body.

He Shouwu ('Black-haired Mr. He'), was a Chinese man who was reputed to have lived until the age of 132, and was known to be consumer of this herb.

They are used in Chinese medicines to treat weak bones and prevent premature greying of hair.

Apparently the knotweed pictured is not 'typical' - I have it on good authority that they don't always look like fat-necked little men with big hair, lady hips and no gonads.

Parsnip with a semi

Would you mnd if Peter touched you with his fat carrot hand?

Originally unveiled in the green fingered gardeners local paper the Shropshire Star is the story of Peter Jackson's from Acton Burnell who got more than he bargained for when dug up this unusual 'hand carrot'.

His daughter Lindsay is rumoured to have said "Dad is a keen gardener - when he dug up the carrot he licked it, took a Polaroid photograph then ran off through the streets of Condover touching people with his fat carroty digits".

'Cantaloupi' the carrot-toothed rabbit.

Name: Cantaloupi
Construction: 2 x cantaloupe melon, 2 x red grape + partial carrot.
Most likely to say: "Lorsque le Groupe d'experts a foutre a mon nez?"